just so's you know

like everyone i'm on a journey...one that has taken me to places both geographical and metaphysical that i'd never expected...GOD has something going on in this world, in me...i'm just not sure what it is yet. the title of the blog should not be read as my position being one of "real"ness, rather that the observations anyone makes about the world is real. i'm just one voice in one crazy world...trying to be real.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

the good...the bad...you get the picture...

trying to process all that i'm seeing and doing and hearing and experiencing and then trying to put that into words is proving to be very difficult and exceedingly overwhelming.  i will try to begin doing so with a list.

the good:

  • the kindness of strangers has been amazing, people generously listening and patiently providing assistance in so many ways
  • my students -- like most second graders are funny and full of life.  i have a few "second grade boys" -- but would be disappointed if i didn't .  they have already given MANY funny stories that will be shared
  • sunlight all the time
  • cab sauv (as in, i can get it here and it is a great reminder of my former life)
  • a church that is pretty good 
  • being part of an expat community...odd but nice
  • hearing many languages spoken every day
  • meeting people i'd never have the chance to meet had i not left my comfort zone
  • an incredible new team (if I had to leave a great school and beautiful team-mates, this is was a safe and lovely place to land)
the bad:
  • missing my community in colorado so much...school, vanguard, dear friends
  • sharing the road with people who can afford to buy a new car weekly
  • finding out that the issues with tape that is red is the same in here as it is in every place i've been in america...yahoo
  • getting used to not only a new way of life, but a new way of time.  life here begins exceedingly early in the morning, stops in the afternoon for about 3 hours, then begins again after the sun sets
  • as a follow up to the aforementioned bulleted point - waking every day no later than 5 am. still not used to it
the ugly:
  • there is a reason people from the united states are labeled as "ugly americans" -- it might have something to do with said americans not wanting to pay a cab driver the agreed amount because they thought the price unfair (but willingly got in the car), a lack of willingness to tip a server because they think the meal was expensive enough, or making fun of people in their native dress -- it sickens and saddens me that people who are being paid a LOT of money to educate children could possibly be so small and closed minded.
these are a few of my thoughts thus far...many, many more to follow

Saturday, October 2, 2010

i was not made for dinner parties

lovely people, good food, extraordinary conversation....should be the makings of a good evening, right?  not for me.  well, that's not exactly accurate.  the evening of which i speak was good. great, in fact.  the discouraging reality of it is that when one meets someone at a party - dinner or otherwise -  paths may never cross again.  this to me is tragic. 

dr. vincent once lectured on "eternal moments" - significant encounters which may or may not ever be replicated. a one night stand of the soul.  this is what the typical dinner party is. connections with fascinating people -- discussing and questioning the world and laughing freely.  this has occurred several  times since moving to doha and i couldn't understand why i always felt so let down afterwards.  then it hit me.  i was not made for dinner party relationships.  i am not a good acquaintance.  i love relationship.  i love getting to know people on deep and even intimate levels.  dinner parties are, to me, the equivalent to finally finding the perfect coffee place, only to have the business move across town.  there might be a chance i'll drive 45 minutes for the fix, but not likely.  i'm simply left with longing and a wistful regret that i won't experience rich dialogue on a consistent basis. 

so, if you love me and you invite me to your house for dinner, please sit me by someone really, really boring. or boorish.  doesn't matter, just don't let it be someone with whom i connect.